Monday, July 25, 2011

How Do We Stop This?

I am very sad, upset and angry. Of course you would like to know what makes me feel this way. I am a very positive, friendly and cheerful person. So, what's up with negativity?

It can be described by one word, SUBSTANCES. Yes, substances. And here is why I feel so negative about them: they take lives away; they destroy families; they rob individuals of childhood, happiness and just normal life, and they rob the world of talent.

As you might have already heard, thanks to substances we lost another talented person, Amy Winehouse. Yes, she was troubled on many levels but she was a huge musical talent. In her short life she amused and entertained us. She reached the top of the musical achievement, Grammy Award. She also paved road to the British artists such as Duffy and Adele.

But let's not forget that she was a daughter, an aunt and a friend. She was a disturbed and vulnerable person. She was an addict. She was addicted to substances. And she succumbed to them at an early age of 27. Another member of Club 27. Who could ever forget the lyrics of "Rehab": "Yes, I've been black but when I come back you'll know, know, know." Yes Amy, you are back on the top but for a wrong reason.

Unfortunately, the faith of many celebrities is similar to Amy's. Here are just a few big names: Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, Janice Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Brittany Murphy. Ok, some of them were accidental. But we are still talking about abuse.

The names above are the people that are well known. But we should not forget regular people. People that live among us, people that are effected by the substances and people that are effected by the abusers. This could be your family, friends or even just someone you know.

Why should I care? Well, I have been personally effected by this. My family had a share of trouble and few death related to substance abuse. My son lost his father to substance abuse. Everyday when I deal with my son I see more and more of his Dad in him. There are many good things but there is that scary thought at the back of my mind, what if?

This is a very uncomfortable and disturbing feeling and I will not wish it on anyone. I like to be in control and watching people loosing control of their lives is especially difficult for me. But as I've learned over the years you cannot control the addict. Unfortunately, there are only two ways to resolve this, to come to your senses or to die. It is very black and white, there is no grey area.

So, how can we stop this? I do no have an exact answer but I have been educating myself. And from what I've learned many people need to be scared, need to be put in the corner, need to face the consequences and of course need to be shown that they're loved. Not to be enabler, love. We already know that this does not work with everyone but there are those people that still can be saved.

My son is a teenager and it amazes me how many substances kids in high school are exposed to. I was in shock at first but then I did what I always do, I educated myself. I spoke with councilors, I took some courses, I did some reading. Most importantly, I taught my son to be opened with me at all times, tell me the truth no matter what. And it works, some times are more difficult then others ("Mom, I did not want to tell you because you'll freak out") and some times I don't even have to ask, information just pours out.

But I talk, I ask, I watch. I know there is that "bad gene" and it scares me. And yes, my son gets reminders from me about that. I know I cannot control Daniel's life but I know that talking about it will help him. There is no doubt he will try some things, I did when I was younger, but abusing? I hope he knows better.

What about you? Have you dealt with this issue personally? Have you found a solution? Do you have an advise? I'd love to hear from you. We all can learn from each other.

Thank you again Wikipedia. Of yes, don't forget the poll. It is just at the bottom of the page.

Have a safe and wonderful day, and remember....

Be Active! Be Involved! Be a Current Woman!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


Any guesses of what this post is about? It can be about so many "guilty things" during this troublesome time in the world. But no, it's not about Rupert and James Murdoch and The Newsworld, it's not about Cassey Anthony (I cannot even believe that this actually have taken place), and it's not about the man that I admired, Arnold Schwarzenegger. It is about you and me and any woman out there that is feeling guilty about taking some time off.

I am 100% sure that it happened to you many many times. The GUILT of doing nothing. The feeling of shame and discuss, "HOW DARE YOU!" The time of life wasted on rest and relaxation. "WHAT WAS I THINKING?" Are you with me?

Ok, may be not all of us feel this way. I know that most of the time I do not. But last day and a half I've tormented myself about taking few hours off.

Life has been very hectic for the last few month: school, exams, marketing campaign, clients, Current Woman and of course family. Most of it at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my life. It is filled with everything I enjoy and I would not change it for anything (well, may be just a bit more time off). I am also aware that there are many women in the world that deal with exact same scenarios every single day.

That brings me to the question, do they feel guilty for taking time off?

What is time off and why do I need it anyway? Well, as some of you might now I am in real estate. This usually means that I work when everyone else is off. Weekends? Yes, please! Evenings? Count me in! But there is also a lot more work takes place behind the scenes. It all happens during the time when regular people are at work. So, in reality I do not have official time off (unless I book something myself). And working for myself means no work, no pay. And pay is required for those things called bills.

So, do I really need time off? ABSOLUTELY! Time off gives me a chance to relax my body and most importantly to refresh my mind. In both of my businesses my mind is the powerful weapon. I am a creative person and need time to create. I have many ideas that just waiting to be implemented and that requires time. My ideas require marketing that take careful preparation and time.

This is where the time off becomes very handy. It gives me a chance to clear and refresh my mind and implement all I'd like to accomplish (last night I cleaned a big pile of papers that accumulated from my real estate dealings and here I am writing a new post today).

Then, why do I feel guilty for doing something that I need in my life? Why do I stress out about something that actually helps me?

Honestly, I don't know. Could it be that there is still so much to do? Could it be that the perfectionist in me still fighting for the right to survive? Could it be our society that pushes us for bigger and better?

Whatever it is, all of us will have our own answer. The most important thing to remember is to listen to your body and remember that we are only humans. We get busy, we get tired, we get overwhelmed, we get vulnerable. And being vulnerable can lead to the feeling of guilt.

So, take my advise, take that time off and do not feel guilty! Restful you, makes a happier world!

I'd love to know if you have the same feeling and how do you deal with it. Please leave a comment.

In the mean time, have a fantastic day and remember,

Be Active! Be Involved! Be a Current Woman!